Monday

"Baby Bumblebee"

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"Baby Bumblebee" isn't just a song, it's an experience--most young children learn to sing it while mimicking the actions it describes, so it's just like you're doing it yourself.  And what are you doing?  Well...

I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee;
Won't my mommy be so proud of me?
I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee--
Ouch!  It stung me.

Here is the part where you pretend you have just been stung.  Feel the pain.  Think Uta Hagen; was there ever a time when life really stung you?  Tap into that, use those emotions here.  Next:

I'm squishing up the baby bumblebee;
Won't my mommy be so proud of me?
I'm squishing up a baby bumblebee--
Ooh!  It's yucky.

This is where you tap into your inner sadist and imagine squeeeeeezing the life out of a living being with your bare hands.  Imagine that moment... just when its inner light dims from its eyes.  Relish the feeling of its life ebbing, guttering, then simply dying out.  Ahhh, yes, that's the stuff.

Lesson learned:
Your mother's probably not going to be proud of you after all.


Baby Bumblebee

1 comment:

  1. The version from my childhood took it a horrifying step further. All done while licking your palms:

    I'm licking up my baby bumblebee
    Won't my mommy be so proud to see
    I'm licking up my baby bumblebee
    (spit) There's the stinger!

    I remember being taught this by my second grade teacher, no less.

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